DOS AND DONTS OF HEALING A BROKEN HEART

DO watch your vocabulary.
We all have an internal conversation with ourselves. Since it shapes our outlook, be careful about the language you choose. Words like "nightmare," "terrible" and "horrible" are catastrophic terms. If you use them, you're bound to spend time dwelling on the negative. Spend more time focusing on what you can do.

DO be honest with yourself.
Are you trying to move past the break-up, or are you hoping to get back with your ex? If in your heart of hearts you really would like to get back together with you ex, admit it to yourself, but face the reality that the relationship is over. You won't move on until you've truly accepted that the relationship is over. 

DO allow yourself to own your feelings.
You can't get over being hurt until you know you've been heard. Give yourself permission to express your anger, your sadness—whatever emotions you may be experiencing. Write a letter to your spouse but keep the letter, don’t send it.  Sometimes just getting your feelings out helps, even if no one else ever reads your letter.  Also, it is a good way to chart your progress.  In a year pick the letter up and read it so you can see how far you’ve come since that day.

DO learn to trust again.
Whenever you get involved in a relationship, you know there's risk. Don't let a bad experience keep you from living your life to the fullest.

Feeling hurt and angry after a breakup? There's a right way and a wrong way to get past the pain. Take a look at Dr. Phil's list what you should (and shouldn't!) do to heal the heartbreak.

DON'T lose sight of what's important.
Sometimes the relationship you need to rescue is the one with yourself. Moving past a breakup is all about you, not your ex. Don't worry about becoming friends right away—if ever. You have to be your own friend first.

DON'T get stuck.
Grief is a process to go through, not a destination in which to wallow. In a process, you keep putting one foot in front of the other. Days turn into weeks, weeks turn into months... each little step is part of the process of healing your heart.

DON'T embarrass yourself.
Driving past your ex's house, making dozens of phone calls, e-mailing non-stop…that's not the way to let go of the past. Don't get in a situation where you'll look back someday and feel humiliated.